tina's snippets!

Friday Feast

Appetizer
How many pieces of jewelry do you wear most days?

Three - wedding band, watch (rarely look at, security item to look at in panic when I'm late) and a necklace of some kind

Soup
What is your favorite instrumental song?

Be Thou My Vision or Ode to Joy

Salad
Who has a last name that you like?

Flannery or something really ethnic sounding always appeals to me. I would love to say 'Hey I'm _____' but nope..pretty darn much a mutt of all cultures happening here!

Main Course
Name a popular movie you’ve never seen.

This is hard, but I know there is one out there...hmmm will have to add this when I think of it.

Dessert
Fill in the blank:  Nothing makes me feel good like a great scent - like clean cotton from Yankee Candle.

Thursday 13

13 ways to leave the house better:

I have to preface this 13 with a short story. This may sound like a cheesy email, but this is reality. This afternoon I got a lot accomplished in the financial area of our lives - got some old fashioned organization happening - actually balanced my account and of course realizing I blew part of the food budget already thinking I had more in it..sigh...such is a budget! 

Larry comes home from work. I have a major headache going on and he's had a hard day. Naturally, neither of us want to be bothered by much at this point of the day. I showed him what I did - where to look and what I needed from him. I asked for all his receipts in an envelope at the front of the ledger book. He kind of glanced at it - grumbled OK and promptly shut down.

That did it. I was mad. I worked all of Quinten's naptime getting this system in place to create some order in our financial lives and I get a glance? Oh no....you just DID NOT!!!!

It was time to pick up Rebekah from dance and of course..do you want me to go or will you go? conversation began. I just gave a big FINE I am going by myself - keep Q and get the H::::: out of my way....

I get on the road. It's raining. There is a lot of standing water on the roads. It's now in a full blown downpour. I cannot see much. So I think,

'What if that was the last time I saw Larry? That would be a crappy way for things to end...'

And a car comes across the median at that point. As soon as I finished that thought I saw the car coming. I was in the left hand lane and there was a SUV in front of me. It would have been SUV then me in the mini-van hitting a Lexus. Luckily, SUV was able to get a big swerve in and I was able to get all the way over to the right hand shoulder. But he kept coming, he gunned his car and flipped it around facing north in a south bound lane!
No one was hit.

No other cars were behind myself and SUV.

So I sit there and watch him. I am still a little numb by how close that was...and he gets his car turned south and takes off, goes in front of me off the highway onto the exit ramp. I watched him leave the road and began on my journey.

Now I am less numb. I think, dang didn't get his license plate to call it in..what if he's drunk... God you have an amazing Spirit that speaks to me. Why else would such an event occur...warning Tina Busick danger ahead! is what God's spirit was saying in those moments.

Today's list is simply, 13 ways to leave the house better:

1. Don't go out angry. Calm down.

2. Actually say at least a civil 'good-bye'

3. Don't slam the door and think poor thoughts of your mate.

4. Smile at your mate as you leave the house.

5. A small touch on the shoulder or small hug.

6. Tell your children goodbye and give lots of hugs!

7. Say ' I love you' as you leave

8. Call on the cell phone and tell them all of the above if you walk out forgetting this stuff

9. Call them for fun anyway

10. Don't doubt that they love you, because they really do!

11. A peck on the cheek

12. A smoochie

13. Lots of everything, but extra big smoochies and hugs are required.

Just so you know, I immediately called Larry. I said 'I don't ever want to leave the house bad again, I almost didn't come back' I tell him the story and he says quietly 'I'm sorry' and I say back 'me too, see you soon.'

We're just a couple of teenagers!

Can you believe these two crazy teenagers?

Who would have thought they would still be together? (Larry & I secretly wonder who thinks this about our marriage - LOL)

Happy thirteen to us! Today is our thirteenth wedding anniversary!

We've been through so much together - it's amazing we're still standing most days! Yet, we keep doing that crazy thing - persevering!

We don't have any big plans for our anniversary, typically we take family vacation during our anniversary time as our way of celebrating. It means more to us to be together than anything that comes in a box. We are so not presents people - I love them, but have grown beyond them!

We don't have any big evaluations of our marriage to go through or creating huge life plans together. Some couples do this and it works for them. But, I have only discovered deep disappointment when Larry & I have tried to do this - for us, it's almost a complete set-up - were our goals out of line - no not really, were they too big - no big expectations. The big disppointments would come when life stuff would come in and take out our plans again and again...to the point that the big life plans were destroyed.

I recently read the Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella. I know it's not deep philosophical literature, yet there was a simple message that came through for me. The main character was in a big vision corporate world and came crashing down around her. She was deep into disillusionment about what her life was 'supposed' to turn out like. As she is putting pieces back together, another character steps in and says 'You don't need a big vision life plan, you only have to know what you're going to do next.'

How true! After each crisis Larry & I have been through, it's what we do next that keeps us moving through it. After 13 years together, this is where we've landed. We know what's next and that's what we're doing. What's next for us - keeping other's agenda's out of our way and moving forward with ours - it's time for us to move forward. So many well intentioned and not so well intentioned have interupted our marriage. There are key moments this has happened on either Larry or I's side of the relationship. I have to confess it's more my issue than his and yet, he loves me again and again.

The next simple things we're doing next:

- out of debt
- add adventure into our time together daily (go swim, walk or learn together)
- talk about big ideas we each are having, seeing which ones are credible and then going after them - right now planning a move to arizona is on the front burner
- getting motorcycles (Larry has his license and I need to learn, but his and hers in the drive way are scheduled for our 40's - which Larry hits next year)

To celebrate the start of our teenage years together, we are:

- going on a date
- going to a simple diner like Mugs Up or Huer's Cafe, i want really good onion rings
- maybe stroll around the columns on MU campus, that's where he proposed

and that is simply the next thing we have to do!

A man who....

Quinten is the delight in our house when his mood is pleasant. During an impromptu photo session after dinner one night - this was his new smile!

Larry is a man who always plays with the kids. I love this. When he plays he is really there with them and they know it.

Thanks Larry for being a real daddy to these kids - you definitely fit the bill for the fatherhood campaign - It takes a real man to be a Dad!

G is for golly-gee!

Mingle² - Online Dating

Found this on EE's blog..had to play along!

Sweetie, thank you for spending yesterday in the woods with me! I am so grateful that our marriage is centered on adventures - adventures we have together and adventures we have as individuals!

Six letterboxes in one day - that's a good day!

Came in the email...

 

Thank you...

Thank you for being the optimistic one - I have been the one discouraged and loosing heart over the last month - but you are strong and moving our family forward.

Thanks for stepping up and being the leader of our family.

Thank you..

Most of you know that our family has had a rough year. We have been in a transition phase in our family since last August. It has been good, but the tornado is slowing down! I just got done reading A Time to Embrace
It summed up the last 9 months of our lives. It also helped me to relax and just move with the flow of it all. I may appear 'together' and 'calm' on the outside, but that is just the store front to my heart. Like any good store, if you are curious about the front, then you go in and check out what their selling.

Here's the real reason I am posting today. I am beginning a new regular thing here and it's really simple. I am going to write down why I am thankful for my husband. Years ago when our marriage was in crisis we began daily session called 'thank you's' - this was before kids - as you can imagine after kids that the 'thank yous' come rarely or because you fall asleep thinking about them!

Larry has given me so much. We often have to remind ourselves why we married the other with things like 'you're not my enemy' and 'I married the whole package, not just the good stuff'. I have noticed that in my mind I think about what needs fixed or improved wayyy tooooo much. I think it has contributed greatly to my depression and definitely to the blah seasons of marriage! I think focusing on whatever is true, whatever is right, whatever is noble, lovely and pure - requires much more character and focus than what is wrong.

Today:

Thank you for sitting with on the back porch at night. That's it just your time and words fill me more than any piece of jewlery you could buy. I am looking eagerly at sitting with you in the next season of our lives together!

ps..especially if we make it to arizona.

Summer Readin'

Are you reading this summer? If so, what are you reading? Put a shout in the comments and let me know! I am always after a great book. I started the summer off with some heavy duty:

Sisterchicks on the Loose by Robin Jones Gunn
The Household Executive started a book group for the summer. I joined with the attitude of how 'fluffy' of a book. I am an avid reader and I was suprised when several ladies said that reading 4 chapters a week would be enough for them! I was shocked - this was a 2 day read EASY!

As always, when you walk in with an attitude I was quickly given an attitude adjustment! This little book helped me evaluate how I will not let others 'help' in a relationship and just let life flow in a relationship. It's so hard. I am so in control most of the time, let life move at it's own pace and free myself up some more? OK - I really need to let go! There were a couple of more little re-adjustments that I can't think of...as a group we are on to the next book!

I went to the library and the kids signed up for summer reading. The theme is Get a Clue - which is perfect for R - she loves mysteries! I picked up a few more pieces of fiction to work on - I am loving reading again - it's been a while since I let myself be entertained by fiction. I get in such non-fiction ruts and can't get out of them! I have wanted to read this author for the last 2 years - Karen Kingsbury I picked up A Time to Embrace. She gripped me at the first chapter - so I am fully prepared to be entertained by a great storyteller!

Let me know what's on your bookshelf!